


I Don't Wanna Live Forever

by spicycrispysalmon



Series: Authan Anthem [3]
Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Needs A Hug, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Songfic, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 13:30:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicycrispysalmon/pseuds/spicycrispysalmon
Summary: August is in jail, Ethan is being taken care by The IMF.But they both feel barely alive without each other.





	I Don't Wanna Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ethanhuwunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanhuwunt/gifts), [Gillian_007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gillian_007/gifts).



_**Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'll call**_  
_**It's just a cruel existence like it's no point hoping at all**_  
_**Baby, baby, I feel crazy**_  
_**Up all night, all night and every day**_  
_**Give me something, oh, but you say nothing**_  
_**What is happening to me?**_

August sat on the bed in his new cell.  
They just moved him to a smaller cell to prevent him making any contact with anyone.  
He kept glancing at the small ventilation above his head, as if he could see something to remind him that someone's waiting for him; _Ethan is waiting for him._  
But he knew it would take another century for him to get out of that place.  
The look Ethan gave to him at the court explained everything, even when the judge forbid him to say anything.  
August felt stupid for hoping that he would get another chance to see Ethan again.

 _ **I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind**_  
_**Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life**_  
_**Baby, baby, I feel crazy**_  
_**Up all night, all night and every day**_  
_**I gave you something, but you gave me nothing**_  
_**What is happening to me?**_

Ethan kept staring at the white wall in front of him, ignoring the psychiatrist's explanation of how much progress he had made for the past months to regain his memory, before The Apostles, before _August._  
He knew he should've felt grateful for everything The IMF had done to him.

They've cleared his name, healed his _manipulated_ mind - he should've felt grateful for not being in jail or for not getting a death penalty.

_If only they knew that he would rather inhale the smoke from August's cigarettes than breathe in the fresh air he got in the healing facility._

_**I don't wanna live forever**_  
_**'Cause I know I'll be living in vain**_  
_**And I don't wanna fit wherever**_  
_**I just wanna keep calling your name**_  
_**Until you come back home**_

August remembered the night they celebrated their first breakthrough.  
How his hands were covered in his enemy's blood, yet Ethan still held them close with bright excitement in his eyes, giving him faith that they could do it forever.  
He looked at his blood-covered hands now, covered in his own blood.  
_At least a quick death would be better than an eternal life with so much pain._

 _ **I've been looking sad in all the nicest places**_  
_**I see you around in all these empty faces**_  
_**Now I'm in a cab, I'll tell them where your place is**_

Ethan took a sip of the red wine, the drink he used to consume every night with August.  
He looked around watching everyone around him interacting with each others, hoping he would find August in the crowd.  
He startled as he felt his phone buzzed, an incoming call from the number he memorized by his heart.  
All it took was that one call, he rushed to the nearest cab immediately, telling the cab to take him to The Apostles' hidden base.  
He held onto the phone as if it was August's hand, as if he could feel August's weak pulse through it.  
He knew this would be the last straw for him, but he would give his last breath to see August again.

 _ **I don't wanna live forever**_  
_**'Cause I know I'll be living in vain**_  
_**And I don't wanna fit wherever**_  
_**I just wanna keep calling your name**_  
_**Until you come back home**_

He didn't think about anything when the bombs were exploded in the prison block, he just kept walking through the chaos like he used to do with August.  
He broke the medical center door open and called August's name repeatedly, trying to wake him up.  
He let the other apostles took August's unconscious body to their van.  
He didn't even feel the blood leaking from his chest before one of the medical crews noticed it and laid him beside August.  
He held August's bloodied hand with his own and whispered his lover's name like it was his mantra, his life line.  
He curled his lips to a weak smile as he heard a grunt from the man besides him, he let the darkness took him to a slumber, knowing that he would be safe - they would be safe together.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO I WROTE THIS AT 3 AM AND YALL SHOULD CHECK ZAYN'S SOLO VERSION OF I DON'T WANNA LIVE FOREVER BECAUSE I LITERALLY SHED A TEAR LISTENING TO THAT ;;A;; THANK YOU AND MAY THE UWU BE WITH YOU


End file.
